Beyonce’s new CD has sparked discussion globally. While the issue of Domestic and Sexual Violence has always been on the table, it is my hope this discussion will enlighten. It is also my hope that these discussions will lead to emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual healing. Below is a letter in response to a dialog with a young Black brother on domestic violence.
Thank you for taking the time to read my response. Of course, I do not agree with you! Your response lacks the maturity of years, in depth study, comprehension of my righteous position, research and experience. It lacks the insight of one who has been on the forefront for generations addressing this issue. I come to this discussion with 22 years in law enforcement and doctoral studies in psychology. My work focus is to help heal the deeply rooted trauma we as the descendants of enslaved and colonized Africans carry. This is not a figment of my imagination. Please read, if you have not already Dr. Joy Degruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome.
Your response is largely emotional, filled with assumptions, in defense of your idol and attacks on my person. I have no experience with ivory towers and high horses. lol I speak from a platform based on years of study, observations, and personal experience. I do not come to this discussion inexperienced with Beyonce’s new CD as my foundation. I find it appalling that you and your friends behind closed doors would even joke about domestic violence.
Don’t be absurd! Of course, there are Black males who do not use their physical strength to batter. Males who are not threatened by the accomplishments of women. Males who do not lash out as a result of feeling less than and insecure. Thank God, for these enlightened males who do not condone a culture of violence specifically domestic violence. However, there are those with even the best intentions who must address their deeply rooted gender biases and conditioning.
This is not about Black male nor male bashing! Thank you, for bringing this argument to the conversation. This is an old argument in defense of irresponsible criminal behaviors. Historically whenever Black women and women of color speak out against sexual and domestic violence we are accused of bashing our men, being race traitors and attempting to destroy the men of our race. Black women and women of color are suppose to keep silent in the face of beatings, cuts, bruises, gun shots and sexual assaults. We are suppose to stand by while brutes beat and molest our children. We are suppose to keep these abuses (crimes) responsible for destroying generations secret. No woman and child should be subjected to these acts of violence!
This is not just a heterosexual issue! I’m speaking out against woman on woman violence, male on male violence, women who abuse men and the increasing violence against transwomen! Abuse is a criminal act!
You speak of the vague possibility that young females will become enlightened and conscious regarding domestic violence. If only this were and proves true. Logically does it make sense that someone who supposedly is opposed to and enlightened would embrace and condon such a brutal line? Respectfully stated ,frankly I don’t give a damn what you and Beyonce fans do with their purchase! My concern is for the Rihannas and the criminal Chris Brown abusers. Young males and females influenced by this society’s culture of violence. Abuse and disrespect of elders, parents and children have become the norm.
*It is my hope that Black males and all males will indeed form coalitions in support of women and address this issue which causes the death of women and children daily! Hopefully Black males and all males will take responsibility for their actions and seek the mental health counseling needed to heal generational violence. Hopefully this culture of violence will cease and we will no longer have to found organizations, nor bury relatives beaten to death nor best friends shot to death as I have. You see, this is not some so-called intellectual exercise for me. It’s very real! I hope you will take the same energy used to attempt to verbally flex on me and work to eradicate this culture, so that grandmothers are no longer afraid to walk the streets of their neighborhoods. Here are two important sites for information and resources.
©Lorraine Currelley 2013. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication of this material without express and written permission from this author is strictly prohibited.